Kid Tsu

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

A Life Without Stigma - Dream of Kid Tsu - Schizophrenic or Sufferer of Schizophrenia?

What's up guys....

I thought I'd get away from the hip hop stuff and get very real with you for a minute...

I was diagnosed schizophrenic in 2006 and I thought I would let you guys know about my experiences and how I have turned my life around.


So it's basically chemicals. I don't do drugs, but that one time I tried ecstasy could have possibly fucked me up. My father is mentally suffering, so maybe it is inherited. I was depressed for a good 10 years before my psychosis, so maybe it was a snowballing effect. The doctors really didn't have the answer for me as to why. On my cat scan, my brain showed a trauma, but I had not bumped my head at anytime leading up to my psychosis.

At the time of my psychosis, I was very frightened. Deathly frightened. My vision felt like it was on constant strobe. I was hearing voices, bossing me, telling me what to do, from when i should do my laundry to what I should be doing with my life. It was constant. So I could not sleep because they were constantly talking to me. The insomnia probably increased everything and made things worse. I would visibly, and audibly see and hear people say derogatory things towards me, that they were not even saying! I would puzzle stories in very odd ways. For example, a conversation at a table, one person is talking about hearing gunshots out of camp, another person is talking about how isolated we were at the gold mine we were at, I piece those 2 pieces of information together and my conclusion? OH MY GOD they are going to kill me and bury me out in the bush. As ridiculous as that was, that seemed like a very real situation to me. I also thought I was cursed, being controlled like a puppet on a string. I thought I could read peoples thoughts. All sorts of really wacky stuff.

I hope that gives you some sort of insight about what a psychosis is like. It is very frightening. You feel like you're locked in a little box that is just squeezing tighter and tighter.

Anyway, I was lucky to remember my mother's number as my phone was dead and my charger had disappeared (that of which I thought was a conspiracy against me) and called her. My mother works in aged care so she had some insight into mental illness and was able to get me home, to the hospital and then to Graylands Hospital. I must commend the nurses, psychologists and other staff at Graylands, Ellis Ward. They are extremely good at, what must be, an extremely testing job.

After a lot of training with my doctor, Dr Sunny from Inner City Health Clinic, and some amazing medication, I am now living an extremely high functioning life. I am the happiest I ever remember feeling and have successfully dropped my first album, "The Chase" and have held down key manager roles in the Immigration Detention Centre network.

For any of you suffering mental illness and dont know where to turn, if you are in Perth, I suggest you contact Inner City Health Service on 9224 1720.

If you're not in Perth, you can contact 1800 18 SANE (7263) ... that's a helpline that can cool you out and put you in the right direction.

Overseas viewers please make use of google and get some help! This can be fixed and/or helped!

Guys, the stigma attached with mental illness is really damaging. Please get yourself an education and visit http://www.sane.org/ . It is a great resource for all things related to mental health. Sufferers should not be shunned. The brain can sometimes imbalance and get sick, the same way your lungs fill with phlegm when you are sick. There are exceptional help networks out there. Get involved!

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Peace

Kid Tsu


3 comments:

  1. Be brave, be strong, be heard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good on you your life is a real success story don't let it change after that and please don't stop with CHASE I am looking forward to next step

      Delete